Choices.....

[TED MAUL HAS THAT REPORT]

What do you mean they aren't Irish Flavor?

At Lasseters with Lou OR hollowing out a canoe?

Orchestrating a coup OR beguiling a Jew?

Relaxin' with the folks OR telling Anne Frank's mum she smokes?

YOU DECIDE?

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN BRAINTEASERS.

[Collaterley Sisters]

Teaching a dog bout romance OR rampaging through France.

"The Schlieffen plan? Well it seemed like a good idea at the time..."

[Ted Maul with that report]

Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster OR encasing a tedious child in plaster?

Saving a bear from the runaway bell OR constructing a place for a beaver to dwell?

"It wasn't really him I was watching, more how the other people on the sidewalk reacted when he went by. Now that REALLY freaked ne out"

[David Sanction]

Dicing your ear with a blade OR Eating your tea off Mairead

Being capped for the Democratic Republic Of Congo OR
Wetting Cornford with a crate of Um Bongo

[Barbera Wintergreen]

Posing a danger in Illinois OR observing with intrigue the demise of Chris Roy?

Telling the bereaved "it didn't hurt that much" or telling David Blunkett "look but don't touch"?

[Alabaster Codefy]

Throwing a quadraplegic in a pool OR Suffocating John Aldridge with gruel

Sharing melon with a rampaging Mandrill OR
Torturing a bent cop with Big Phil

[Brian Ohanrahanrahan]

Giving disease to a girl you dont like OR hoping and praying for the return of the REICH!

"They brought it on themselves...all that gold!"

[Susannah Geckoloid]

Always helping the old and the poor OR giving it all to beat Shipman's score?

Drawing a Swastika in the light of a lamp OR mustering a smile and bathing a tramp?

[the rhymster]

Mr Maestro selling five spots to kids
OR
Playing Slam with invalids?

[I Need Help]

Watching Question Time or World In Action , Or being left alone with Michael Jackson.

[David Sanction]

Dropping out of olympic marathons through exhaustion OR
A pro-life campaigner considering abortion

Putting on an accent which could be construed as Southern OR
Burning a bank clerk in a Dachau style oven


(This should do my Karma a whole world of barnogood)

[TUBBY BROWN]

Pulling a fit bird and pi**ing on her dress or having your picture in the Daily Express.

Eating more pies than Desperate Dan or getting torched alive by the Ku Klux Klan.

[Martin Sheen]

Talking like an American and saying "pardner" OR being caressed by an uphill gardener?

Blitzen Dasher Rudolf and Prancer OR Herpes Aids Flu and Cancer?

Saving a friendly fox from the hounds OR casually mocking a child with downs?

[Valerie Sinartra]

Saying Lidgett looks like a frog OR planting a bomb in a synagogue?

[Barnard Menning]

Spending all night on Hampsted Heath or shagging a bird that looks like Penelope Keith.

Finding out that you've got thrush or spending an evening with George Bush (think I'd rather have thrush)